Musings of the Unemployed

I'm not exactly sure how it's already the 28th of June. I admit that I'm still unemployed, something that can draw tears on occasion. I had thought that I could have found a nanny job by now. But I'm discovering that this summer is all about God upending everything that I thought should have happened. I thought that I would have found a secure job after college (an economic depression was not on the radar four years ago). I thought that I would have found a man with whom to spend the rest of my life. I naively thought that everything would be perfect for me.

Ah, those were the days.

Well, things aren't perfect, but I am blessed beyond comprehension. God gave me huge amounts of trust when I asked for it (little known facet of a relationship with God: when faith is hard, ask Him to help you out! Everything comes from Him). I am filled with the most peace about my place in life than I have been in months, possibly the last two years. I may not know where I'm living or working come August, but I know in my soul that THIS is where I'm meant to be. In Madison. Letting a little bit of flexibility into my life. God filled me with the desire to stay in Madison and absolute peace about the decision. After months of indecision, and prayer time made up of "please please please tell me where I'll be next!!!", I can sit in front of the tabernacle and just BE with Jesus.

I am so blessed in my friends. I'm learning that 'networking' involves telling lots of people your game plan. Several times in the past few weeks, I have casually mentioned in conversation that I want to work with children's education outside the classroom, especially literacy, and that my career goal is to work for PBS Kids television. Well, I'll be darned if they didn't whip open their phones to call someone they knew in that kind of field. And I thought, what amazing people they are who want nothing more than for me to succeed and want to help me out. So very grateful.

I am so blessed in this time that has been given to me right now. While I'm not working, I have been filling my days with reading, cooking and baking, and crafting. I can't lie. I absolutely love it. I love being at home. Going from project to project, following my desires of what to do and when to do it. Reading for pleasure! (As a side effect, reading young adult fantasy novels has made my dreams MUCH more vivid!) Even chores like doing the dishes becomes relaxing when I don't have homework that needs to be done. It's very therapeutic for me to do dishes and watch the mess vanish. Mom has always said that I was always a few years ahead of my grade in school - when I was in 7th grade, I was ready for high school and when I was a junior in high school, I was ready for college. Now I realize that I was ready to be done with college two years ago. The academic life is not for me, for all that I love learning and am good at school. God made me to feel most comfortable at home. The domestic life. So I'm happy to be here while I have the chance, and excited to see my vocation develop around it.

Thanks be to God. :-D