I said I would be better about writing. I thought I would have more time during the summer to spend on this blogging thing. The obvious truth is that I didn’t follow up, for valid reasons. I felt a little lost this summer, and talking about things on which I only have a cursory knowledge (politics, current events… anything you’d find on NPR) to an unknown audience didn’t exactly appeal to me. There were certainly things that I discovered, and wanted to share with the world (and I still plan to – just wait for retrospective posts!), yet even when I was excited about something, I never got around to typing it out.
Thus comes my second valid reason. I found myself in front of a computer five hours a day as my work load became more specialized at the library. I couldn’t complain – I was learning lots more stuff, honing in my desire and possible vocation to librarianship – and you couldn’t pay me to sit in front of one after work. With the library being so understaffed, I couldn’t bring myself to log on during work, either.
All of this points to a bigger thesis, one that’s been on my mind all summer. Life is full of decisions, some of them obvious and others to which you don’t give a second thought. You were going to hang out with a friend, but your brother’s in town. You could read for a bit, but end up spending an hour on facebook. In fact, every time you make a commitment, even just hanging out with friends, you are inherently saying no to a multitude of other activities. But you don’t even think about all those other things.
These are, simply, priorities.
Everyone has them. Very few people have the same ones. For instance, my top priorities tend to be family, work, good friends, and if I’m good, God. Ok, a lot of people share these. I’m not special. But how do I spend my time when I’m alone? This summer I watched a lot of movies. Read a few books, but not as many as I would have liked. Played piano not at all. Wrote here with rarity. And the point is that you almost cannot help what things you make a priority. You simply have a stronger desire to do some activities over others. I know lots of guys who make video games a priority. But face me with the choice to make dinner with a friend or play video games alone? The answer is obvious. Of course, we should not be ruled by our desires, but by our self-discipline. I can’t tell you how many times this summer I chose video games over praying, because the former was easier than the latter. I lacked discipline. Though we can say that God is a major priority in our lives, do we do anything about it?
In the same way, writing is something that I do not find very easy. But I wanted to get better at it, and with all things, practice makes perfect. Again, I lacked discipline. I thought I had made writing a priority, but there is hardly ANYTHING in my expensive, leather-bound journal, and if I can’t write anything that stays between God and myself, how can I write anything of value on this silly webpage?
Written word takes priority over internet word. And as for this blog, I can’t promise anything during this, my final year of undergraduate studies. I’ll try, but in my list of priorities, the world that is in front of me will always rank above that of the virtual.
