Silence and Solitude

This summer is turning out to be nothing like my summer of '06. I was in Madison that year, working as a custodian for University Housing, and just finished with my freshman year of college. I barely knew anyone. I barely did anything. I spent a lot of time by myself.

And that wasn't half bad.

I actually have to use my planner this summer - how ridiculous! For example, this week's after-work schedule is:
Monday - Movie on the Terrace
Tuesday - Bible Study
Wednesday - Concerts on the Square
Thursday - Theology on Tap
Friday - blissfully open
(Saturday - wedding in Milwaukee)

Lots of noun-preposition-noun activities; something on/in something. I should start calling it, "Bible in a Study". That would bring true harmony to my schedule.

It's great to be around friends so much, and good to keep busy getting everything one can from one's Madison summer. But... there's always a but. I feel tired. In summer! This is supposed to be a time of rest and recuperation. I'm getting plenty of sleep, and spending much more time cooking good meals. But the reason I'm tired is pretty obvious for someone like me.

I'm not spending any time alone, and very little time with God.

During the school year, you feel like there is no time to pray, but you'll have more time in the summer. Even those of us who know this isn't true fall into that mindset. It's the temptation to stash things away in the future, to believe that things will all be great later, so you don't have to change anything right now. It's the circumstances that have to change, not me. We tell this to ourselves over and over, consciously and subconsciously, and now that we find ourselves almost done with June, we wonder, as Dr. Seuss once did, "How did it get so late so soon?"

Time goes quickly (I cannot bring myself to say that it "flies") when you're busy. That's why it seems to speed up exponentially as we get older. What 5 year-old is busy, in the way we are? (I hope you don't actually have an answer for that.) My summer time seems to be slipping away from me, as sand through my fingers. And the harder I try to hold onto it, the faster it spurts out of my hands. If I hold my hands steady and still, the sand runs at its natural pace. Steady and still... like in meditation. God speaks through our lives, sure enough. But if we don't take time to turn to Him and say,

"I'm listening"

His voice can get lost in everything else we are hearing, seeing, tasting, touching, experiencing. Take time to sit and empty all your thoughts. If possible, do it outside (it's been beautiful). Breathe in fresh air. And tell God that this is His time. It's not enough to expect Him to shout above the noise. We have to provide the quiet.