I do have a confession for the world. And here it is: I have tantrums.
Two clarifications: 1) Yes, I am a fully functional adult and 2) Not the kicking and screaming kind of tantrum. I was just reading a bit of What to Expect the Toddler Years (the third in a series of go-to parenting books, for those not in the know), particularly a little sidebar about how tantrums are not just for kids. And it hit me that, in fact, I am one of those adults who sometimes cannot handle her emotions. Usually frustration. A lot of people have outburst when they are angry, yes. I just mean to say that I KNOW I'm one of them.
Examples, you ask? But of course. Just last week I accidentally left my purse at a bridal shower located an hour away, and didn't realize it until I had gotten home. Upon facing the prospect of driving another two hours that night, I started crying in frustration and desperation. Friends try to work through my problems like this with me, bless their hearts, but there are many times when I just have to have it out. I recall another time a couple years ago when it was my responsibility to get balloons for a roommate's birthday. Walgreens didn't have any. I looked and looked on campus and there were simply no balloons to be had. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. To me, it was a big deal. I cried about that too, venting my frustrations to another roommate.
I've cried over bad grades in college classes. I've thrown my phone against a wall because my reception was poor. Don't even ask me to describe what shopping for clothes is like.
I have tantrums in my own little way. And this one little breakthrough is helping to open my eyes to the plights of toddlers. Small things can be a big deal, no matter how old a person is. In those cases, you never want to belittle the upsetting thing, but react with empathy. Try to understand the frustration of wanting something, and just not being able to get it or have it happen. We all have to learn to deal with these strong emotions. Some of us take longer to master that skill, and that's ok. I turned out alright.
1 comment:
I can relate to this so much. Seriously, the worst thing you can do to someone who is upset is to tell them that what they are upset about is not a big deal. Unless, of course, they are making unreasonable demands on another person, and old enough that they should understand that their demands are unreasonable. But none of your examples are like that.
The only other thing I'd say is that throwing your phone against the wall is only going to make reception even worse... get some type of carrying case and throw that against the wall. ;)
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